Monday, 14 December 2009

IVF, weeks 4-6

My egg collection is tomorrow morning at 9am.

How do I feel? There's a scene in the film Armageddon where one of the astronauts about to take off answers that same question. His verdict is: "98% excited, 2% scared. Or maybe it's more like 98% scared, 2% excited - it's hard to tell but that's what makes it so intense." That sums up my mindset this rainy, chilly evening.

I managed fine with the injections in the end. I got to be quite the dab hand with the old liquid siphoning by the finish. Inevitably on my last day I performed the maneouvre perfectly. Had my last morning injection been a gymnastic routine, I finished on the equivalent of a perfect en pointe dismount.

I managed to escape with only a little bit of thigh bruising and several sliced fingers, and the side effects haven't been as bad as I feared. I've suffered with migraines in the past so I was pretty well resigned to having one of those once the hormone cocktail kicked in, but I've avoided them so far. There was a thudding headache every day between day two and six, but a headache is very different to a migraine and I was able to cope.

The nerves I felt going for my first scan were about as jittery as anything I've experienced throughout this process. Because of my high FSH level I'd convinced myself there was a chance I might not respond at all. My big dread was the monitor revealing two stubbornly small and flaccid ovaries which had refused to produce so much as a pimple.

There was no need to worry. To be fair, the secret voice in my brain which is currently insisting that this whole thing might just work had told me I had nothing to worry about because I'd felt my ovaries kick in round about day five. It was the same feeling I had on Clomid - a sort of low ache, almost like you have wind, worse on the right side.

The head doctor at the clinic did my scan with her trademark - and actually increasingly appealing - no-nonsense style. The hell with KY jelly and easing it between my lips - the Renault was rammed, bammed and thank you mammed into me with very little in the way of opening pleasantries. Which suited me fine as I was burning to know what my pesky ovaries had been up to all that time. Despite the twinges I'd felt, it still seems weird that a little jab in your thigh flab every morning can make eggs grow there.

Immediately the doctor murmured "Oh, this is good," and I craned my neck to look at the screen. Even I could see them - oval, shadowy follicles clustered on my right ovary. She counted five, then twirled the Renault and located seven on the other side. Withdrawing the scanner with similar gusto to that with which she had introduced it, she proclaimed this to be excellent progress and sent me on my merry way with a view to presenting myself for a final scan on Saturday gone.

The jabs got a bit sorer after that, presumably because there wasn't much expanse of thigh flab left that hadn't already been skewered and injecting into a bruise isn't much fun. But I persisted and as I did the windy ovary pain got a bit worse each day, and my stomach started to bloat.

Saturday's scan went like a dream. I now have 14 follicles, seven on each side, all of which the doctor deemed to be the perfect size. I administered my hCG injection last night - it stung like a motherfucker, being cold out of the fridge, and the injection site on my beleaguered thigh flab is puffy and inflamed, but it is done and I now have no more needles to deal with. Hurrah and huzzah. I felt like cracking open the champers but since I've sworn off alcohol for the duration of this - might as well treat my body like a temple being the logic - I had to make do with water with lemon.

I've felt emotional but not as much as I feared. I imagined I'd be breaking down in tears at adverts, or howling in anguish on the train platform when I'd just missed one (both of which are exhibitions of myself I've been driven to previously by fertility woes).

But since the first scan revealed all was well, I've actually felt happier and more positive than I have for a while. It has to be said that this is down to some fairly wonderful caregiving by my legendary best friends, mind you. Friday night saw me not fretting and angsting over the next day's scan, but instead munching pizza, sipping peppermint tea and giggling in my PJs on their sofa. To be distracted, taken care of and amused during this nightmare has been wonderful.

So now. A short description of my physical state.

My stomach is distended like a malnourished orphan and I fancy that I can feel every one of those 14 follicles jostling for position on my ovaries.

I have unpainted toenails, as instructed by my egg collection admission form, which also forbids me from wearing makeup (unthinkable; surely a slick of mascara won't harm my eggs), deodorant (but cunningly, I have bought an odourless organic one - a girl doesn't want to be smelly), perfume or body lotion.

(It is worth pointing out that I have not had unpainted toenails for longer than it takes to remove one coat and apply another for at least 15 years. I always thought I had quite pretty feet but it turns out it was the varnish making them so. They are butt ugly naked. My nails are a sort of pallid yellow colour - as a result, one imagines, of nearly two decades of continuous varnish-wearing - and they look bigger, ganglier and sort of masculine. I hate them. My mother - from whom I inherited my obsession with toenail varnishing - was appalled.)

I now need to pack my bag - I'm instructed to bring a dressing gown, slippers (with which I can hide my unattractive feet, thank fuck), a toilet bag and a favourite CD with me. Then it's early to bed in the hope of some sleep. I'm not allowed to eat or drink after midnight, because of the sedative they'll give me. I'm to be there for 9am.

I'm told I may not remember the procedure - I bloody hope I don't - but I'll do my best, tomorrow or as soon as I feel well enough, to describe what I do recall here.

I very badly wish all this was over. But while I'm anxious, I know this is just another hurdle I need to get over in my quest to get what I want more than anything in the world.

Wish me luck.


Jo said...

I love that quote -- "98% excited, 2% scared -- or maybe its 98% scared and 2% excited." I can SO relate. I felt the same way just last week before my first ER. I'm going to keep my fingers crossed that you've got some beautiful eggs hiding in those follicles and that they make some great embies! I know it's going to be hard to do, but try to relax -- it really wasn't nearly as bad as I had feared.

Glad you are being taken care of and hope that soon your friends have an even BETTER reason to pamper and spoil you!


Anonymous said...

Good luck, I am thinking of you.

The no nail varnish, no make up, no perfume policy is due to the fact that you will be anesthetized, and the drugs may have adverse reactions when they get together with other chemicals. I have found this out when I went to get a D&C. They told me I did not want to wake up with limbs twice the normal size, but at that point I couldn't care less. Still, I was not exactly in the mood of painting anything, so I did what I was told.

How do I manage to make every comment about ME, MYSELF AND I?! I am sorry...

Please post the news when you can.
We are rooting for you.

Laura said...

good luck!!!

Munchkin said...

Best of luck! I've been watching on the sidelines for a while.

It totally and completely bites that you have to go through this crap. Life is a b*tch!!!

Wishing you a very very happy ending. You deserve it.


Anonymous said...

OH I'm so excited for you. Best of luck. I love your blog- it gives me hope. I truly hope this is the end of barren blog and the beginning of your pregnancy blog! We're all rooting for you.

Anna said...

Good Luck!!!Glad you made it through all the shots to egg retrieval day! I'm so excited for you. I'll be watching and praying that all fertilize and are wonderful quality!!!!

monclersale said...

may be you interest onMoncler Nantes Black Hooded Down Long Coat,The warmth of down in a fashion-forward fitted shape, clinched with an elastic belt with polished logo plaque. Attached hood with drawstring close.70% OFF on moncler jacket sale and free shipping to world.

chris said...

Malhotra Test Tube Baby and IVF Clinic in India provides IVF Treatments which includes IVF ICSI IUI Treatment Cost in India, Embryo Donation, Egg Donation, infertility treatment, Male Female Infertility Treatment India

chris said...

Malhotra Test Tube Baby and IVF Clinic in India provides IVF Treatments which includes IVF ICSI IUI Treatment Cost in India, Embryo Donation, Egg Donation, infertility treatment, Male Female Infertility Treatment India

Anonymous said...

Great blog really enjoyed reading it. Have bookmarked you and will check back regular. Please feel free to take a look at my blog...
Cheap Flights to Nanjing
Flights to Nanjing
Nanjing Flights

sidra khan said...

Nice~~~!!!!!!!! List of medical center in Thailand for IVF

ProgenyIVF Surrogacy said...

Fertility treatment India and surgery offered by Progeny Ivf at Certified Hospitals are vast and varied; ranging from Female Infertility treatments also known as Assisted Reproduction Techniques (ART) like IVF (In Vitro Fertilisation), Test Tube Baby, details of IVF Procedure and Process in India, Fertility Tests / Investigations to ICSI (Intra Cytoplasmic Sperm Injection), IUI (Intra Uterine Insemination), Ovulation Induction to Embryo / Egg Cryopreservation, Laser Assisted Hatching, Blastocysyt Transfer to advanced IVF treatments like TET (Tubal Embryo Transfer), ZIFT (Zygote Intrafallopian Transfer ) to PROST (Peritoneal Oocyte and Sperm Transfer) to techniques like Frozen Embryo Transfer, Therapeutic Donor Sperm Insemination for Single Mother / Lesbian Mother toEgg Donation Services like profiles of Select, Educated Egg Donor in India. Unexplained fertility treatment in India

wecare surrogacy said...

A couple may be infertile due to infection in either man or woman or both as well. The general term used for treatment of infertility is Assistant Reproductive Technology (ART) which refers to methods used to achieve pregnancy by artificial or partially artificial methods. Gestational surrogacy India

Reports says that nearly 30 million couples in India suffer from infertility and the emotional breakdown and disappointment of couples because of infertility affect their general health, relationships and living style too, making infertility more than a mere disease and hence infertility treatment India
gains utmost importance.

progenyivfsurrogacy said...

The procedure is identical to a frozen thaw embryo transfer ET cycle. For young women, we can transfer the embryos in a natural cycle, 2 days after ovulation. For older women, we need to downregulate with GnRH analog from Day 1, and then prepare the uterus to accept the embryo with exogenous estrogens and progesterone. The procedure is non-surgical, and there is no risk involved.
What about confidentiality?
In our clinic, we handle embryo donation like a closed adoption. There is no contact between the donating couple and the recipients, who never see each other. The recipient couple does not even need to inform their obstetrician that they achieved their pregnancy through embryo adoption.
Embryo Donation India
Gestational Surrogacy in India

Sam Chapman said...

Good post. I like it. It was interesting to read it. Great thank's author for sharing…

paper writing

saeed ahmed thanvi said...

World's Most Popular Cars, Hot Speed Cars, Hot Cars with Hot Girls, Cars Latest Pictures with all info, Latest updates Cars Models and Company Cars, Strange Vehicles, Concept Cars, Top 10 Expensive Cars in the World.
Visit this Link for More Strange Vehicles and Cars with Latest info and Pictures

Atul Bhardwaj said...

IVF Treatment Center In Delhi is a very serious problem among many couples today. There might be hundreds of reasons why a spouse may become infertile. There may be a problem with the husband or the wife, but it mustn't be a reason to stop you from having children of your own. Thanks to today's modern inventions and technologies, it has now become possible for an infertile couple to bear their own children.

ivf treatment center in delhi

Bharti said...

This is such a great resource that you are providing and you it away for free. I love seeing blog that understand the value.IUI Treatment Delhi

Unknown said...

Dear Friend,

"If You are feeling Frustrated Or Hopeless because of your
inability to get pregnant. If all you have been told is that there is
nothing wrong with you and yet you can't get pregnant then this is
your chance to do so. Or are you having any of the challenges
listed below? Whatever it is that may be causing your infertility,
you can be sure you are on the right post. Infertility problems include:

-- trying to get pregnant for years
-- Irregular Menstrual Cycles
-- Delayed Periods
-- Endometriosis
-- Ovarian Cyst
-- Miscarriages
-- High Prolactin
-- Hormonal Imbalances
-- Low Sexual Drive

* Have you been trying to conceive and have your own baby without any

* Have you taken several drugs and even concoctions all because you want to
become a mother?

* Have you undergone surgeries and yet you still can't conceive?

* Have you been unable to find a solution to your infertility or that of
your spouse?

* Are you ready to brace yourself with the simple steps to getting pregnant?

* If you have also been battling with Fibroid, Blocked Fallopian Tube and
you want completely get rid of it?

If your answer to any of the above questions is YES, then your story is
about to change.But first, see what Mrs jessica from USA said about my
herbal herbs product.

I Was Married for Over 5 Years Without The Fruit Of The Womb. My Husband
Was Very

Supportive But His Family Showed Me Hell. At First I Was Skeptical Of Your

herbal herbs product Because I Have Used Lots Of Different Things But To No
Avail. But

Thank God I Gave It A Try. Now, I Am 8 Months Gone. Thank You Very Much.

Mrs Cynthia from usa, My gynecologist said both of my fallopian tubes has
been blocked that i would not be able to conceive at all. I felt so bad
that i nearly killed myself, If not for

my husband who stood firmly with me. My friend introduced me to your home
of solution your herbal herbs is real and good. At first, i felt reluctant
to buy
it, but i took a step of faith. Now,

I am a proud mother. Thank you for your

encouragement and support."-- Mrs jessica from

Do you really find it difficult to get pregnant contact doc natasha today
and receive yours too Her WhatSapp
contact : +2347036879479 +2347036879479 Her WhatSapp contact :
+2347036879479 +2347036879479

Mr Kixvix said...

The video presentation above shows you some unique and rare tips on how to treat almost any type of infertility disorder and get pregnant naturally in just 60 short days even if you're on your late 30's or 40's.

This is based on the latest scientific research on how to stop the actual CAUSE of 97% of infertility disorders. *And if you also suffer from ovarian cysts, uterine fibroids, tubal obstruction, endometriosis or lazy ovaries or if your male partner has low sperm count or sperm motility disorders, then the moves highlighted above will help you treat most of these infertility related conditions while restoring your energy and vitality and giving you the healthy baby you've dreamed of for so long.

Important note: I can't leave this video up for long, so be sure to watch it from beginning to end while it's still here. Remember: Watch the whole video, as the ending will pleasantly surprise you…

For more info please click on the following link: how to treat infertility

Talk soon.