The dreaded sperm test

We did this in October. They said hubby could produce it at home as long as we could get the sample to the clinic within 90 minutes, so we decided we'd both take the day off work and then drive it into town while the traffic was light.

The plan worked well and we were there within 25 minutes (thanks to some slightly reckless driving), and it was much better for him than having to do it in some awful room.

The comedy part of the adventure was that you have to keep it warm, so after much deliberation we decided that my bra would be the snuggest place for the wee pot - a plan which again worked well until I got to the clinic reception and had to rummage around to retrieve it in front of about 12 people.

Thankfully I'm way, way past embarrassment on this issue now. I double-parked the car and was quite prepared to tell any jobsworth traffic warden who questioned me that I had some rapidly dying sperm between my tits!

That was the first time I'd been inside the fertility clinic. It's really nice inside, and it's good that our first visit was for the sperm test so I now have my bearings and know where everything is rather than encountering it for the first time when I'm nervous for one of my own.

I suppose they do everything they can to make such environments welcoming and relaxing. There were a few other equally sheepish, miserable and furtive looking couples our age rummaging in warm crevices for their own pots so it was reassuring to realise we're not the only ones.